It's the start of a new year and with that I think it's time I let out all that has been eating up a lot of my strength over the past 10 years. For a long time I have been hiding large sections of my past to people, except for those who I deemed trustworthy enough to know. I've had my trust broken many times but it's time to make an appeal to everyone. I'm a little scared about how people will react when reading this, if you have nothing nice to say please don't say anything at all.

When I was around 8 years old, I was abused. Not just any sort of abuse either, sexual abuse and it wasn't by any other person, it was by someone I knew and someone I thought loved me. My step father, whose name I shall not reveal for confidential purposes, only those who know me personally will know of him.
This abuse wasn't a one-time deal, it was on going, almost every night whilst I was "asleep" laying in bed with my eyes closed, scared of him, he treated my body very roughly and I can still remember every touch of his hands, his fingers and his tongue. I won't go into the disgusting details, but the only aspect that the abuse I received fell short of was rape. I became too scared to go to sleep and wanted to refuse sleep as long as I could. I felt scared, alone and I couldn't trust the world. Everything had a much darker light shone over it and it was at that moment that I realized what the world was really like.

The abuse continued for around 4 years or so, and finally ended around when I started high school, I have been emotionally scarred since that experience and have developed a lot of severe issues linked to trust and I can become socially awkward very easily. I can't blame all my tendencies on what happened to me in the past , but a lot of them can be psycho-analytically linked together.

I am telling my story in hope that others who have suffered or are suffering will find the strength in their hearts to report it to the proper authorities. I felt alone, and it's only been recently that I have realized that I am not alone. There are children in the world getting sexually abused by even their parents right now, and they need protection 1/4 of the population in female children and 1/6 of the population in male children receive this sort of abuse, together that's around 1/3 of the population in children getting sexually abused and this abuse needs to stop. I didn't have the courage to stand up for my rights, but that in no means that any other child should have to suffer for as long as I did.

To all those that are getting or have been abused, report it. It's not a waste of time and there are people out there that can help, that can advise and will make sure the situation is dealt with in the correct manner. To all those who suspect abuse, don't hesitate to report it. If you are wrong, nobody will get angry, but if you are right and do nothing, a child will endure an even longer suffering. All I'm asking is for people to keep their eyes opened, don't become blind to the suffering for a child, don't let it continue, don't allow another child to lead a life like mine. I'm not here as a guru, I'm not here as a psychiatrist, I can't give everyone the help they need, but I am here as an experience. I've been there and if you have too then please, feel free to contact me if you need someone like me to talk to.

Thankyou for your time and let's stop this together.